Ruthlessly eliminate –ing verbs

The surprising self-editing hack to keep readers engaged

Have you ever read a book and found it just sort of dragged?

When ponderous pacing plagues your writing, readers get bored. They click away, or close your book. They give up. “It just didn’t hold my interest,” they say. They abandon the book, scroll away from your blog post.

Even if you write lovely, lyrical prose, you need to keep the reader engaged. Some of that engagement happens at the surface level: twists and turns in the plot of your novel. Strong, clear action steps and information in a self-help book. Calls to action in a blog post.

But the pace of your writing is also impacted by word choices. You can improve your writing by carefully weeding out needless words, looking for specific ones like “then” which is often unnecessary, as I explained in this newsletter. You can replace “to be” verbs like is, was, are, were with active verbs. The to be verbs often hook up with –ing verbs: was running, are crying, were screaming.

All you grammar nerds know that the –ing form of a verb is called a present participle. When –ing words are used as a noun, as I did in the first sentence of this post, “When ponderous pacing plagues your writing…” they’re called a gerund. Who cares? You should, if you want your reader to keep turning pages.

In the subhead for this week’s missive, I use an –ing word as an adjective: surprising. It describes the noun “hack.” And therefore, surprising is not a present participle when used this way. Again, your grammar-oblivious reader may not know this. They just know it flows, or it doesn’t. They like it, or they don’t. They probably won’t know why.

Photo by Ron Lach : https://www.pexels.com/

Overuse of present participle verbs slows the reader down. It forces you to use more words to convey the same idea, to write more awkward sentences. You don’t need to (and probably can’t) eliminate them entirely. Most readers don’t have the ability or interest to analyze word choice or verb tense. They just know how a book feels, how it hits them, whether or not it’s easy to read the book, or whether it bores them. The reader will not likely say, “this book overused present participle verbs!” No, they’ll say it dragged, was hard to follow, didn’t flow. And they’ll do the worst thing a reader can do. They’ll set your book aside. They might even tell other people “eh, it wasn’t that great.” Nooooooo…..

Overuse of –ing verbs bogs down the pace of your writing, which means readers might lose interest and give up. This is exactly what you don’t want. You want them to continue to read, to turn the page and stay connected. In other words, the words you choose, the structure of each sentence, impacts the pace of your writing.

Strong verbs create a smooth flow. You want the reader to understand easily. You want to direct them to take action or understand complex ideas. If you can rework a sentence to remove --ing verbs, you’ll also, as an added bonus, probably eliminate “to be” verbs as well. You’ll find strong, active verbs. You’ll discover a fresh turn of phrase, a less tired way of expressing yourself. Your writing will become more concise, clear, and powerful.

For example (this is a scene I totally made up so that no one will feel bad because I critiqued their work):

As she was approaching the old house, Susan was feeling uncertain. She had been wanting to open a bed and breakfast in Vermont, but her efforts at saving up money were going nowhere. As she was walking toward the house, she was wondering if she was just making a big mistake. A few windows were broken, and the porch was sagging. Weeds were growing up through the cracks between the pavers of the front walkway. Still, looking at the house, which was she couldn’t help imagining what it would look like after some renovating—maybe painting it or replacing the windows would help. What if she tried giving it, and herself, a fresh start?

When we rewrite to remove the –ing verbs, we are forced to find stronger verbs. We unlock the potential for more vivid description.

Susan approached the old house, her steps slow and uncertain. She wanted to open a bed and breakfast in Vermont, but so far, she’d saved very little. Was this a dumb idea? Stubborn weeds grew in the cracks between the pavers of the front walkway. She stepped over the weeds, then looked up at the dilapidated house. She imagined flowers instead of weeds. How might this place look with a fresh coat of paint and new windows? Could she give it, and herself, a fresh start?

Photo by Mick Haupt: https://www.pexels.com/

The two paragraphs convey the same information. The first is 114 words, the second 86. When I removed the –ing verbs, I could find a few places to add more detail: “Stubborn weeds” vs “weeds.” But I could also find ways to say things more succinctly: “dilapidated house” vs “the porch was sagging.”

A caveat: As you write a rough draft, don’t worry about participles and word choice. Get the ideas down in a terrible, messy, unrefined first draft. Just spill your ideas onto the page. Later, self-edit. Look for –ing verbs and rework the sentences where they lurk. Find ways to rewrite the same content, but with greater clarity and simplicity.

This simple self-editing hack will improve the pace of your prose. It will make your writing clearer and easier for the reader to follow, and to enjoy.

P.S. It can be difficult to see the flaws in our writing. Some writers find it helpful to have an editor or writing coach to help them refine their writing. I offer editing, coaching, and other services to help writers tell a powerful story. Click the button below to request a free consultation.

P.P.S. Want more on self editing? Read this post on the joy of self-editing or this one on another self-editing hack.